Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
