If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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