Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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