I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
