Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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