also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
