Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
