hell yes lets make some ravioli
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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