the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's no shave November. This is our time.
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