like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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