Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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