oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
