she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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