i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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