Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
