as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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