I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?