sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize