my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.