Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

(651): View more from Minnesota

again?

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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(614): View more from Ohio

you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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(518): View more from New York

im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning

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(813): View more from Florida

were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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(310): View more from California

yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

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(248): View more from Michigan

You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?

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