You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
