My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
