do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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