Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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