i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
