I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize