Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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