Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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