Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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