question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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