quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
