She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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