420 ftw
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize