Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
