i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
