look no pants
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
