Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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