I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
