Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
