i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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