you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize