Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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