am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
