i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
