Dual....:-)
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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