hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
