# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
