I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
