Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He had one of those small greek statue penises
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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