Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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