She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have tasted many bathrooms
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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