Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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