whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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