When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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