I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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