I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
