you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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