He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have already put on my inside pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
