Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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