Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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