one two three fourrrrnication!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize