dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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