did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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