I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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