you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They took my balls.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
