Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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