I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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